Definition of a Supermom
by Micaela Fassina
First of all, I have to say that I have never, ever called myself a Supermom except in the most derogatory manner. Other people call me Supermom all the time, which made me uncomfortable because I think that I’m just surviving, treading water, trying to keep from drowning under all my various obligations. But let’s take a closer look.
If sheer quantity of children defines a Supermom, then I qualify. I am a mother of five children, ages 12, 10, 7 and 4-year old twins. But that wasn’t planned. We had already gotten rid of all our baby stuff after kid #3 when we found out we were expecting twins and had to get it all back times two! Don’t get me wrong; I love every single one of my children and couldn’t imagine my life without them. But being a mother of five was not part of my game plan when I graduated university. I know a mom of seven (yes, seven – no multiples!) who was trying to convince her husband to go for #8. I would call her a Supermom, because she actively pursued this life and thrives on it (at least in public).
Maybe it’s volunteering that makes a Supermom. All my children attended the same co-op preschool, of which I am now the treasurer after doing a stint as the co-chairperson. I also do my assigned duty days (doubled now because of the twins) helping the teachers in the classroom. When my oldest was on the competitive swim team, I was a timer at her meets. I spend one afternoon a week in the elementary school’s library.
If kilometers logged while chauffeuring children to activities makes a Supermom, then I guess that’s me as well. This year, all 5 kids are playing hockey, the eldest started an after-school drama, the 10- and 7-year-olds are also in Kung Fu, and the twins are taking winter swimming lessons. We just finished a summer of soccer for 4 of the 5, and swim team and diving at our local pool. I rarely have to drive more than 50 km away from our house, but I’m always in the car.
Is the ability to multitask like a boss the ultimate Supermom qualification? Well, as I am writing this, one of the twins is coming to me crying because the eldest “pulled my dress”, so now I’m typing with one hand as I comfort & snuggle a preschooler. Oh, and the oven is preheating so I can cook dinner.
Reading this over, I still don’t think I’m a Supermom – not unless I consider that I am surrounded by other super people: my husband who coaches hockey and soccer, and both sets of doting grandparents as well as aunts and uncles, who are willing to lend a hand whenever necessary (which is often). That, and my jumbo kitchen calendar (if it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist), keep me afloat enough that I look like I know what I’m doing.
But if there’s one thing that makes me feel like a Supermom, it’s the fact that my kids love me & think I’m the best mom ever (even if I yell too much, and am often the worst mother in the world). When they tell me that I’m the best cook, or look to me for validation, or come to me when they are hurt or need their tears wiped, that’s when I know I’m a Supermom in their eyes. Ultimately, that’s the only label that matters, no matter what other people might call me.
So, no matter how you are living your life, with one kid or seven, single mom or with a huge support system, if your kids love you (and they do!), you are a Supermom!